Yesterday, for the first time since I moved, I felt like I was driving west, and I WAS! Maybe that's a good indicator that I am not feeling quite as lost as I was ... know where I'm going. It does make a good analogy.
My prior posts titled "Is It Really September?" and "So Much To Do" revealed a lot of my thoughts on this big change in the middle of my life. It wasn't easy to break out of a mold, especially when some people in my life disapproved, and it was extremely difficult putting more than one thousand miles between myself and my daughter, son-in-law, and new granddaughter. But those who know me also know that I rarely do anything without a lot of thought. I recognize how fortunate I have been to have friends and family - including Rachel and Eric - who encouraged me to do what was best for myself.
Another thought regarding my kids: I so loved and enjoyed being their mother! Of course there were some difficulties and issues (we are distinct human beings, after all), but the pleasures of motherhood exponentially outnumbered them. We played GI Joes, Little People, Barbies and Laser Tag together ... fished, rode bikes, cooked, colored, gardened, studied and read books. I have so many pictures of them in face paint because we loved dressing in costume. Still do, as a matter of fact!
But now that they are adults, our relationships have matured to real friendship, and that is a tremendous joy that surprises me! Though I was saddened that they grew up so quickly, our new relationships have more than alleviated the sadness. I believe the reason must be that we have the freedom to talk to one another about anything ... no subject is tabu...even if we disagree. I remember the last time I visited Eric and Amber, she made the observation that, "Your family talks more than any I ever met!" I don't doubt that at all! :) Baby Lela is another catalyst for the evolution in our relationships. As a new mother, Rachel now understands the emotions and thoughts that I experienced. And my son-in-law, Rick, and daughter-in-law, Amber, are two more blessings my kids have brought into my life. I love both of them!
Jesse's family and their friends) have been kind and generous during this transition, and they treat me as a member of the family. His dad has been a wonderful help in getting the house ready to move into.
It's difficult to verbalize how kind, loving and supportive Jesse has been. He's done so much, and been so understanding when I feel homesick or forget something, or get lost for the bazillionth time. He encourages my creative side, even working on some of my projects with me.
But I think the best illustration would be that, every morning as he leaves for work, he looks back and smiles.